14 down, 10 to go.

As the AFL chugs through its bye rounds, a six-game weekend still provided plenty of entertainment – and controversy – to last us the week until it all starts again.

Scoring was back in a big way – six of 12 teams cracked triple figures, while Hawthorn managed 97 in spoiling Richmond and Dustin Martin’s party. Two games even had both sides reach that mark.

Sydney did Sydney things to Adelaide in their latest 15-minute burst of magnificence to remain the best team in the league with daylight second, while Brisbane’s surge back towards the eight continued and GWS got a badly needed four points against a lacklustre Port Adelaide.

But of course, the discussion will be dominated by Collingwood’s win over North Melbourne on Sunday afternoon: and from coaching blunders to umpiring stuff-ups, classy Nick Daicos acts and touching Brayden Maynard speeches, it shouldn’t surprise that I’ve got plenty to say about everything that happened at Marvel Stadium.

Let’s begin.

1. North copped the mother of all stitch-ups

Watching the final quarter of Sunday afternoon’s match at Marvel Stadium was like witnessing a slow-moving car crash.

I can’t recall a more brutal loss to witness as a neutral supporter; from 54 points up and seemingly on course for an afternoon of long-awaited delight in front of an endlessly patient contingent of diehard supporters, North Melbourne proceeded to be overrun by Collingwood’s latest never-say-die comeback.

There was plenty to admire in the Magpies’ extraordinary last quarter and a half; their relentless commitment to attack, their brilliant skills at the most crucial stages, their confidence in taking aggressive options wherever they are on the ground, and above all, the unbelievable, generational talent that is Nick Daicos.

Equally, there is much about the Roos’ fadeout that would rip the heart out of the stoniest supporter: from horror defensive turnovers from Zac Fisher, to a crucial brain fade in midfield from Tom Powell to give up a 50m penalty and Daicos goal, to – and more on this later – the baffling, and ultimately disastrous, decision to sub out Will Phillips at three quarter time after a by and large excellent tagging job on Daicos.

But there was something unmistakable that was just as responsible for Collingwood’s comeback as any Pie or Roo was – even Daicos: the umpiring decisions (or rather, non-decisions) that saw the Roos cop the almightiest stitch-up yet seen in 2024.

The failure of the score review system to overturn Jack Crisp’s goal in the second quarter despite a clear and obvious touch on the ball by Bailey Scott, awarding an eventually vital six points, was a farcical failure of a system that was supposed to have clamped down on such moments.

The ARC operator had 45 seconds in between Crisp’s ‘goal’ and the ball being bounced in the middle to find the necessary moment and deem it suspicious enough to further stop play and double-check; that was long enough for Fox Footy to find a replay that clearly showed Scott’s fingers bending back as the ball whistled by.

As a result, Jack Riewoldt – and everyone watching on TV – was baffled when the ball was bounced in the middle and the goal confirmed. While it’s too far to say that it cost North Melbourne the game – the butterfly effect would have seen the match play out totally differently – it would be hard to not feel aggrieved at losing by a point when something like that goes against you if you’re a Kangaroos fan.

I wrote a few months ago that the crackdown on score reviews, and the wasted time that they caused, was a necessary evil if we were determined to stamp out errors. I think this example proves my point.

But that wasn’t the most egregious error to cruel the Roos on Sunday: I’m even more annoyed about the decision to not pay a 50m penalty to Bailey Scott in the dying seconds, after Steele Sidebottom and Beau McCreery charged over the mark believing the Daicos hack Scott had marked hadn’t travelled 15 metres.

Sidebottom and McCreery were given infinitely more leeway than they, or any other player, would have been granted at any other time of the match, or with a more significant margin.

(And as an aside, I wonder how many people who clamour for the umpires putting the whistle away and letting the players play in the final minutes are infuriated by this example of exactly that just because it benefitted Collingwood?)

Let’s call this what it is: cowardly. It’s an umpire not willing to become public enemy number one in a stadium full of Magpies supporters, and be talked about on social media and on television for the next two days, for a decision made, regardless of whether it was correct or not.

It’s not the first time the Magpies have taken advantage of such an unwillingness to blow the whistle late in tight games. In fact, I’d go so far as to say that a significant portion of the Pies’ acclaimed close-game clutchness is a result of their unerring and entirely justified faith in umpiring cowardice to refuse to pay all but the most blatant free kicks late in tight games.

There were other moments, too, that I’m more forgiving of: Nick Daicos escaping a holding the ball decision, a missed throw from Steele Sidebottom a few minutes later, Isaac Quaynor getting away with a really dangerous push on Eddie Ford that saw him take out Cameron Zurhaar and miraculously escape serious injury himself.

Errors are an inevitable part of footy, and they tend to even out over time – for Roos fans, it was only a week ago that they benefitted from THAT Elliot Yeo holding the ball, as a case in point.

Mistakes happen, and it’s luck of the draw when they occur and who they benefit. There’s no pro-Collingwood conspiracy behind them, just the footy gods evening up their own colossal stitch-up in the dying minutes of their draw with Fremantle.

What’s infinitely more intolerable is when a person paid to make big, right decisions chooses not to in the biggest moments of all. Which is exactly what happened to rob North and Scott of a golden chance to win that game.

2. What on earth was Clarko thinking?

Having done an admirable job to curtail, if not outright stop, Nick Daicos for three quarters on Sunday afternoon, Will Phillips would have been forgiven for thinking congratulations were in order at the three-quarter time huddle.

Instead, the late inclusion was taken out of the game, subbed out for Jaidyn Stephenson in a decision so baffling it took everyone by surprise.

“I cannot believe Will Phillips was taken off as a sub. He’s really fit and was doing a good job on Nick Daicos,” Collingwood great Tony Shaw remarked on 3AW.

With veteran Liam Shiels moved onto Daicos to try and quell his influence, the move quickly backfired with the Magpies star the most influential player on the ground in the final quarter.

He had 10 disposals, four inside 50s, four score involvements, and most remarkable of all, three goal assists in 30 minutes of magnificent football to will the Pies home.

So what was Alastair Clarkson’s reasoning after the game for taking Phillips off?

“He was doing a good job but we were fatiguing and wanted the freshness of the sub,” the coach said after the match.

“We thought Liam Shiels could go in and finish the job. I don’t think it was pivotal in the result.”

Sorry Clarko, but that is a Mount Everest-sized pile of rubbish in every facet.

First: if you were indeed fatiguing, why take off a 22-year old instead of the 33-year old Shiels – let alone expect the latter to keep up with one of the quickest and fittest players in the game?

Secondly: if Clarkson doesn’t think Daicos’ influence without the tag was significantly greater than with it, even considering the two third-quarter goals he booted (both from free kicks that were not Phillips’ fault in the least) he was watching a different game.

And just as importantly: Phillips is a young player who has struggled to find his feet at AFL level in his four seasons at the highest level, having dealt with glandular fever and a series of injuries as well as his own form.

Having been given a reprieve as a late in, he’d then done the job he was tasked to do, a fiendishly difficult one, exceptionally well, and even kicked a really nice team-lifting goal for his troubles.

With confidence surely sky-high, the impact being taken out of the game and having to watch powerless as the Magpies, and specifically the man he’d clamped, overran his team will surely be devastating for the 22-year old. For a team still well and truly in rebuilding mode and trying to get games, experience and confidence into its youngsters, that’s near enough to unforgivable.

I wrote in point 1 that North fans could feel aggrieved at the umpiring late in the piece; but the biggest reason of all for their capitulation was self-inflicted.

Clarkson and the Roos did so much right for three quarters; one howler isn’t a hanging offence, but there’s no mistaking that that was exactly what it was.

3. John Longmire did Joel Amartey dirty

Speaking of coaches having howlers: John Longmire’s decision to twice bench Joel Amartey in the final quarter on Saturday night, despite him sitting on nine goals, was quickly derided around the footy world.

Longmire’s defence of the twin benchings was pretty much what you’d expect it to be – that he and Sydney had a match to worry about next week, and didn’t want to risk an injury.

“Once we had the game won, it was important for the team that we looked after him and got him to next week,” he said post-match.

But I’m sorry, Horse: you can’t seriously be that practical and logical when one of your young stars has a golden chance, maybe the only one he will ever have, to kick a bag of ten?

You could tell from Amartey’s face on the bench that he was bewildered and even a little frustrated by being taken off; if Isaac Heeney’s claim in his post-match interview with Seven that he’d have to ‘have a word’ with the coaching staff about it is any guide, his teammates weren’t overly impressed either.

The odds of Amartey getting injured, even from over-exertion, were surely minimal – the Crows hadn’t been able to lay a finger on him all evening, after all.

It isn’t even about the theatre of having a player on nine goals be looked for at every opportunity, like the Swans did in his brief stints on the ground between those two spells. It’s about giving a young man the chance of a lifetime at the rarest of modern footy feats, one he can look back on with his kids and grandkids after his career winds up.

I’m only slightly exaggerating here: but the difference between a nine- and ten-goal haul is far greater than one extra major. If it wasn’t, we wouldn’t have seen the Swans do their darnedest to get him that tenth, as we have seen other teams do other players in the same situation over the years.

It was as ruthless as Michael Atherton declaring on Graeme Hick during the 1994/95 Ashes, when he was one shot away from a first century against Australia. Except this was even more inexcusable, because bringing Amartey back on wasn’t going to impact the result of a game already won in the least.

Whatever the reasons behind it, and however reasonable they are, Longmire did Amartey dirty at the Adelaide Oval. He deserved the opportunity to write himself into the record books: and given his previous career-best was four goals, there’s a good chance he’ll never get a better one.

4. Nick Watson is great for footy

There’s something about small forwards with a bit of cheek that drives us opposition fans wild.

We’ve seen it with Alan Didak, Paul Medhurst, Mark Williams, and most recently with Jack Ginnivan: and just a handful of games into his AFL career, we’re seeing it with Nick Watson.

I can understand why Watson’s antics on Saturday afternoon would have irked Richmond supporters: the first-year Hawk regularly taunted the 92,000-strong crowd with waves and shushes, won several dubious high contact free kicks, and then proceeded to add to his growing list of shanks in front of goal with a wayward 1.4 scoreline to finish the day.

All that makes him a lightning rod for criticism of the ‘talks the talk but can’t walk the walk’ variety – but I happen to think pests like ‘the Wizard’ are good for the game.

Footy needs its pantomime villains; they add an extra level of spice to the contest. Their supporters love them, and opposition fans love to hate them.

Based on his first few games, Watson seems more than ready to take up the mantle of antagonist in chief, and alongside Ginnivan drive rival fans nuts for the next 15 years.

He’ll need to fix up his kicking for goal – vision of him arcing out to turn simple set shots into quasi-snaps was quite alarming – but good players find a way; I remember Lewis Jetta kicking 19 straight behinds before at last kicking his first AFL goal back in 2010, before kicking 45.17 in Sydney’s 2012 premiership.

Watson is here to say, and so is all our annoyance at his antics if we’re not Hawthorn diehards: and long may it continue.

5. Some overdue credit for the Dogs

The most impressive four-quarter performance of Round 14 was that of the Western Bulldogs – by some margin.

With their season on the line and coming off a heavy loss to Brisbane where fatigue looked a real factor, the Bulldogs utterly dismantled a Fremantle outfit many expected to win on Saturday afternoon, for quite clearly their best win of 2024.

They neutralised the Dockers’ biggest weapon – their phenomenal stoppage dominance in 2024 so far – by dominating the clearances in the first half, even though Freo shaded the count. Their ball movement from half-back was daring and precise, with Bailey Dale among the best afield in his latest All-Australian-calibre performance.

Marcus Bontempelli did Marcus Bontempelli things fresh off a drip feed after being ill all week; Adam Treloar made his omission from the long list of AA contenders announced mid-week look silly; Ed Richards’ addition to the midfield group has given them genuine zip around the contest.

And most impressively of all, their forward line was a constant menace in the air and on the ground, making mincemeat of the stingiest defence in the AFL.

To kick 23 goals despite missing, in Aaron Naughton and Sam Darcy, their two highest goalscorers of the season is a quite exceptional feat, and with Rhylee West (four goals), the returning Cody Weightman (three) and the much-maligned Rory Lobb (three) among the host of Dogs getting in on the action, the sheer volume of avenues towards goal was simply too much for a Dockers team with at least two if not three members of the current All-Australian back six.

There were still weaknesses: the Dogs were scored on very easily during Freo’s only two periods of ascendancy, late in the first and third quarters when they twice managed a run of goals. That’s probably going to be an issue for the remainder of the season no matter how far they go, but kicking 149 points affords you plenty of leeway if your backline isn’t up to snuff.

This was the Bulldogs at their very best, and the fact this is their ceiling makes the times when they collapse to lose winnable games all the more frustrating. Had they defeated Hawthorn earlier this season, the defeat that threatened to bring down Luke Beveridge’s time as coach, they’d currently be sitting in fifth.

But after an immensely tough five-week fixture since then in which they’ve played four top-eight teams plus a resurgent Brisbane, the Dogs have gone 3-2 and maintained their outstanding percentage. Considering they’ve had a torrid time on the injury front, and lost Darcy to suspension, in that period too, you couldn’t really ask for more.

Still a game outside the eight with their bye to come, the Bulldogs have their work cut out for them to make the finals, and while they’ll start favourites against a suddenly dangerous North Melbourne following the week off, their brutal fixture gets harder still with matches against Port Adelaide (away), Carlton, Geelong (in Geelong) and Sydney (away). Yikes.

But if the Bont can pull off stuff like this, then who’s to say they can’t ace the challenge?

There’s nothing Bevo’s Bulldogs like more than when their backs are pressed against the wall. A tough run might well be the making of them in season 2024.

6. Can we cut Brayden Maynard some slack?

The different reaction to Dustin Martin and Brayden Maynard’s milestones around the footy world was as stark as it’s possible to get.

Martin’s 300th match brought with it nothing but a week of acclaim and fanfare – entirely fitting, mind you – with Richmond fans and neutral supporters alike coming together to share highlights, debate his place among the game’s greats, and collectively treat the view from some sections of the media that he should talk to them more with the scorn such a take deserves.

As for Maynard’s 300th game? Not much more than mockery and sneering: some of it self-inflicted, like when a Pies fan decided to put together a package of all the scraps he’s got into over his career rather than actual highlights like goals or that time his brilliant kick set up Jamie Elliott’s winning goal against Carlton, most of it not.

It has been a long time since a player has been as unanimously despised as Maynard by fans of all 17 other clubs – North Melbourne supporters actually booing his disposals Melbourne fan-style during the third quarter despite him having done nothing to any Kangaroo ever was about the low point.

I wonder how much of the hatred that goes his way from all corners now is because he’s just about the only even moderately unlikeable player at Collingwood these days; where once you could safely despise Alan Didak, Paul Medhurst, Nick Maxwell and co. and spread it evenly, now it’s all coming Maynard’s way.

By point of comparison, Blake Hardwick is an extremely similar player to Maynard – a tough, no-nonsense backman who loves a scrap and isn’t overly skilled or damaging but tries his guts out every week. No one hates Blake Hardwick the way they do Brayden Maynard.

It’s time to cut him a little bit of slack, in my view. He’s a perfectly reasonable footballer – you have to be to play 200 games – playing a role that gets little if any public acclaim: small defender.

No, you wouldn’t kill to have him or a player like him in your team, but someone of his ilk is inevitably a part of every good team.

You can hate what he does on the field – in particular his love of picking fights and flying the flag – but I’m not sure criticism of any journalist claiming he’s a different man off the field as simple PR in the week of his milestone game is warranted.

His words after his 200th game, paying tribute to a close friend who recently passed away in a powerful interview with Fox Footy, was truly moving, and gave an insight into the man people at Collingwood have consistently said he is: caring, considerate and compassionate.

At the very least, 200 games deserves respect. It’s time we gave Brayden Maynard that at least.

Random thoughts

– Of all the great Dustin Martin stats, this is my favourite: he’s made more people happy than any other single player in the history of the game.

– Jye Amiss has the worst set shot routine I’ve ever seen. Hobbles in, leans back, gets way too close to the man on the mark – no wonder he’s so inaccurate.

– Bobby Hill’s was a nice mark, but it’s not close to Jamie Elliott’s from Anzac Day, right?

– Logan Morris is a sneakily good young footballer: give him three weeks and it won’t be ‘sneakily’ anymore.

– I’ve watched this Nick Haynes brain explosion ten times and still find it extremely funny.

– If you think anyone else is the best player in the game, please know you are wrong.

– Nick Daicos going up to Zac Fisher to console him about his last-second miss falls firmly into my ‘too nice’ category. Just let sad blokes be sad, Nick.