You have no stake in tonight’s game. Your team is not playing and you wonder if you should bother watching. Here are 23 reasons that might help you decide. The 23 most watchable players of 2024.

Backs

Luke Ryan (Fremantle) – When the Dockers clinically dismantled the Lions back in Round 1, I asked myself why I had never noticed this guy before. Was I just falling victim to the Woewodin effect? No way! Game after game this year, he has not only stood out, but stood up.

James Sicily (Hawthorn) – Early in his career he was a bit of a hothead. With maturity, he has become one of the competition’s foremost intercept defenders and the undisputed leader of his team. But a dormant volcano is still a volcano. Just waiting to erupt.

Nick Blakey (Sydney) – Known as ‘The Lizard’, his signature move is the long, weaving run off half-back. Without a net, it’s very difficult to stop him. Few seem to even try.

Half-backs

Nick Daicos (Collingwood) – Just enjoy the rare qualities – sharp vision and clean ball use at high speed – that presumably make him a wizard in the pinball parlour.

Mac Andrew (Gold Coast) – The adjective rangy doesn’t do him justice; he is definitely in Bruce Reid territory. But while Bruce Reid’s movements were somewhat stilted, Mac Andrew is poetry in motion. Predominantly a defender, he will occasionally contest a centre bounce, which really does look like a Ferrari competing against a draught horse. Just be careful.

George Wardlaw (North Melbourne) – Put it this way, if footballers were cars, you wouldn’t hesitate to enter him into the Demolition Derby.

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Centres

Blake Acres (Carlton) – His name is both poetic and apposite; a cross-country career path has taken him from St Kilda to Fremantle, then back to Carlton. More to the point, he seems to cover more ground than any other wingman in the competition. Not just a pretty name.

Harley Reid (West Coast) – You should hate him. He looks just like the kid at school who would stick the pointy end of his compass into your soft parts. But hey, now that he is beating up on the likes of Fyfe, Petracca and Oliver and laughing in their faces, you have to admit that this bullying caper has its funny side.

Jaeger O’Meara (Fremantle) – Back in 2014, O’Meara had the world at his feet. Having easily won the AFL Rising Star Award the previous year, the 20-year-old had established a lethal midfield partnership at the Suns with Gary Ablett Jr. One day he might even be as good as the little master, we all mused. Injury and misfortune put paid to all that. This year he has been unable to break into the Dockers star-studded midfield, but you can’t help noticing him working away at the fringes. A few games as sub, a role on the wing, a bit of time up forward. The class is still there, you can see it. Still only 30 years old. A fairy tale waiting to happen. Cinderella’s team wouldn’t be complete without a Cinderella Man.

Half-forwards

Jeremy Cameron (Geelong) – Brave, modest, gifted and very likeable, when he is free from niggles it’s like he’s got his own footy out there.

Harry McKay (Carlton) – By last season he was an established star, but verging dangerously into tragi-comic territory; the best mark in the competition but one of the worst kicks. This year he seems to have ironed out the kicking problems, so you can enjoy watching him play with a clear conscience.

Joe Richards (Collingwood) – When he gets the ball, good things happen. Similar to Gryan Miers, but with a more orthodox kicking style and the bonus that he doesn’t play for Geelong.

Forwards

Izak Rankine (Adelaide) – He is nimble, explosive, unpredictable, takes speccies and kicks impossible goals. As if that wasn’t enough, we now also know that at full speed he covers 1.73 metres per stride.

Jake Waterman (West Coast) – He could easily be Fraser Gehrig or Peter Sumich, except that those sort of players have long since gone the way of the dodo. They were, well, full forwards. And that’s what Waterman seems to be. What on earth is he doing out there?!

Aaron Naughton (Western Bulldogs) – A supremely gifted power forward who sometimes looks like he would be much more at home singing power ballads in a rock stadium. But only sometimes. Imagine the inner turmoil! How could you not watch?

Followers

Max Gawn (Melbourne) – An athletic ruckman who kicks the footy like a 7-year-old. Through some strange quirk of physics, this seems to be the perfect action for scoring long-range goals. Like a circus act that you’ve seen over and over yet never cease to find compelling.

Jason Horne-Francis (Port Adelaide) – Unpopular in a Buckleyan sort of way, I was happy to side with the mob until this season. As he matures, his football is doing the talking and I like what it’s saying.

Shai Bolton (Richmond) – This guy reminds me of the Road Runner. He will effortlessly beat his opponent, then stick his tongue out and go ‘beep beep’! OK, he doesn’t go ‘beep beep’ (to the best of my knowledge), but the rest is true.

Interchange

Toby Greene (GWS) – Many years ago, as I recall, a newspaper columnist put together one of those allegedly humorous ‘best of’ football teams. He included Bulldogs back pocket player Terry Wheeler with the succinct, barely-cryptic comment ‘just in case’. Now these are different times and Toby Greene is a much better footballer than Terry Wheeler. Still and all…

Rory Lobb (Western Bulldogs) – Rory Lobb is mercurial, mercenary and at times seemingly meropic. He was once thought to be meritorious and merchandisable, but now he is generally regarded as meretricious. Some disillusioned Bulldogs supporters even claim that he is merde. On the other hand, he stands out on the footy field and he is never bland. Even his name is funny. How could I leave him out?

Sam Durham (Essendon) – Like the great Gary Ayres, Durham is a rugged-looking footballer who is surprisingly skilful. This year he seems to have provided the missing element to the Bombers midfield, an enthusiastic respondent to Brad Scott’s urge to be edgy.

Sam Draper (Essendon) – He has worked very hard on the humorous part of his game and this year he has reaped the rewards. Absolutely spectacular at the conclusion of the Dons’ Round 6 encounter with the Crows, but really he has been a solid clown for most of the season.

Substitute

Jack Ginnivan (Hawthorn) – When he is not mugging for the TV cameras, playing for free kicks or irritating opponents, he is usually kicking goals or setting them up for his teammates. He might actually be needed in the 22 with the AstroNaught going down.

Coach

Ross Lyon (St Kilda) – They seem to have broken the mould with Ross. Now why would you break a mould?